Its 9 pm on a Tuesday and there I am staring into my fridge trying to decide between a 10%, 13% and a 12% ABV beer in 22 ounce bottles. Problem is it’s Tuesday and I just want something to chill in front of the tv for an hour before I head off to bed. I’m not looking to start Jersey Turnpiking or making videos of me doing the running man challenge, I just want to end my day. I don’t have the highest of tolerances and I freely admit that, no shame in my game but what do I do here? Should I just take the loss and drink water, juice or even worse, ask my shandy loving neighbor for a glass of lemonade beer? No there is an alternative, bottle stoppers.
Once I figured out my tolerance for alcohol hovers around a third grader, I had to figure out ways to still enjoy that beer and not A) make a fool of myself, B) not fall asleep on the couch or C) dump the rest of the beer. Before beer I was an avid wine bro and I had sworn by the vacuum bottle stoppers. The one that came with the grey top and the plunger to suck the air out of the bottle while using your newly acquired shake weight skills. I tried that stopper on a beer bottle and it didn’t work, turns out the carbon dioxide gases pushed the bottle stopper right off the bottle and I was left with a flat beer the next day.
I had fancy chrome wine stoppers too, you know the ones ribbed on the side for the bottles pleasure, that you pushed down and it made a tight seal with the bottle. Well those didn’t work either. Turns out that a wine bottle and a beer bottles neck are different sizes and they didn’t fit. What I needed was something that had a variable size and tightened enough so the top would hold the gas and not pop off.
The Right Bottle Stoppers
I finally found these Metrokane Champagne toppers, pictured above. These stoppers slip over the top of a bottle and then you turn the top and it tightens inside of the bottle creating a tight seal that is perfect to trap the carbon dioxide in beer and stash it away in the fridge. I have purchased these Metrokane Champagne Sealers on Amazon for $6 but I have also seen them in Home Goods for cheaper.
So there you have it, if you ever want to drink that 22 ounce bottle of Abraxus you have stashed in your fridge but you only want one pour, now you know my secret to drinking and acting like a big boy in my 5′ 5″ frame.
Bonus Tips: You can now check in that beer twice on Untappd since you saved it for the next day. Oh and I hear it works on 12 ounce bottles of high gravity beers. Oh and there’s a rumor floating around that you can take a big tall boy can you don’t want to finish, pour it in a clean bottle and store it with this. Not sure if that works though, never tried it :)